The Inner Workings of Self Discipline
At the beginning of a new school year, tests, quizzes, and homework become everyone’s concern. Getting a good SAT score, maintaining those amazing grades, and studying until you get the best test score in the whole class–we all want to succeed, and completing those goals makes us feel accomplished and self-disciplined. Unfortunately, most people don’t experience true self-discipline, the ability to suppress prepotent responses in exchange for the service of a higher and normally more successful goal, one which requires actual, conscious effort.
It was Plato who said that “the first and best victory is to conquer self.” His words embody the true meaning of self-discipline: finding a way to control your urges and yourself to a point where you can achieve more than what you imagined was possible. It may sound easy at first, but true self-discipline involves being able to put aside what you want, in exchange for what you need, and oftentimes what you want is a very strong temptation.
Take sleep, for example. Studies show that 70% of high school students do not get the required amount of sleep every night, which is around eight to ten hours. These students need sleep in order to function properly, as it actually allows them to rest and recharge and work better throughout the day. But many of them do not want to sleep, believing that there are more important, more tempting things they could be doing during the night, like the lure of social media, homework, or friends. In this case, the need takes precedence over the want by way of health, but 70% of high schoolers do not realize that, or do not have the time to do so. This is an example of poor self-discipline, then, as sleep, the higher goal that will actually give them more success in the long run, is thrown aside by the temptations they have now.
The sacrifice of self-discipline will probably seem challenging to many of you, especially those who do not get enough sleep. The benefits of it, however, greatly outweigh the negatives, even if it means throwing away some of the temptations you face at night when you are forced to face the challenge of sleep. Grades are a good example of a benefit. Most people believe that standardized tests are the best representation of a student’s academic performance, but in reality, researchers have proven that self-regulation, or self-discipline, is what allows students to continually improve their grades. In fact, most young students with high self-discipline find themselves with fewer health problems and make better financial decisions when they get older.
So, how to achieve this self-discipline, then? The first thing you must improve at is your observational skills. Look around you. What decisions and choices are you making in your life right now? Are they good for you? Are you eating well, exercising well, and studying well? Is your schedule well balanced, with enough time to do what you want, as well as the things that will make you better in the future?
The first step is probably the hardest for most people. Human beings have a tendency to justify their actions with excuses, especially when they know inside that what they are doing is bad for them. Saying you don’t have enough time, you have too much homework, or you are simply too busy are all excuses. People with high self-discipline quickly realize that they do have time if they simply stop wasting their time doing things that don’t really matter to them in the long run.
The second step is to figure out why you want to improve in something. Let’s say you decide you want to exercise more. Why do you want to exercise more? Is it for your health? Is it because you want to play a sport, or get more in shape? Does exercising make you feel happy, or is it just something you think is good for you? If you hate exercising, what is something that could make you commit to it? You must be aware of why you want to do something if you ever want to achieve it–otherwise, you will never be able to accomplish your goal. Every good goal has a reason behind it, otherwise we would lose all motivation for it when the going gets tough.
Thirdly, you must develop some sort of plan to get through your goal. Going back to the decision to exercise more, how are you exactly going to do that? How much time are you going to set aside each day to complete this? What exercises will you do? Will you have time to complete your other tasks after this? Start thinking about your other goals, and find a way to fit your new goal inside your pre-existing ones. Furthermore, make sure your plan is thorough. One suggestion is to begin making a schedule in your notes, setting aside blocks of time throughout the day for your decisions and goals, or even make a calendar with your schedule on it.
Once you have your plan, take it slow. If you make a mistake, it’s completely normal. We are not robots, and we are not perfect. People make mistakes, and making them actually allows you to see the flaws of your plan. Was it too difficult, or do you just need time to warm up to it? Is it too crowded? Is it negatively affecting your emotional state? No matter how self-disciplined you want to be, your mental health and emotions should come first. Never compromise those for anything, even if you view it as very important in the moment.
Finally, work on removing some of those temptations in your life. If you look at social media for too long after school, set up a reminder on your phone to start your activities or homework, or put your phone away when you get home. If you want to watch a TV show or Netflix instead of exercising, think of that reason again, listen to some music, and distract yourself from the TV show. In the end, self-discipline comes down to the amount of effort you put into it–a half-baked attempt will only produce half-baked results. You must be fully confident in yourself in order to create a schedule that works for you and makes you feel like you are doing something meaningful in your life.
Lastly, remember that self-discipline isn’t everything. In fact, some studies show that too much of it can actually have a negative effect on your life. Many people with high self-control don’t experience very high intensity emotional situations, because they have removed all of their temptations, so they respond to everything in a neutral way. Many people have reported regretting having too much self-discipline, as it restricted their life choices and their time with family and friends, something they viewed as precious and something they could never get back. Interestingly enough, the things most people remember and keep in their memories are memories of themselves doing fun things, things they love to do, not studying or exercising or following a strict daily schedule. That’s not to say those things aren’t good for you–they will help you to maintain good health. But another part of being self-regulated is still being open to spending time with others and making time to do things you will remember.
In the end, though, self-discipline may not be for everyone. Many people view it as restricting, and feel that they are unable to get what they want out of it. But, if you have never tried adapting to a schedule of self-control, I would encourage you to attempt it. The rewards that come with recognizing your needs over your wants are highly beneficial, not to mention worthwhile, and I find that the more I plan and do the things I know will help me, the happier I end up with myself and my goals.
As Plato said, the greatest victory is conquering self. And in conquering self, you will find a new version of yourself you may have never imagined possible.